As part of our IFS blog series, we will be discussing 5 Parts Work Exercises. Parts are the different sub-personalities of the psyche that form over time as a result of early childhood environmental contexts. Parts develop as an intelligent adaptive response to a lack of safety.

This blog will cover:

1. Introduction

2. Exercise 1: Coming into Self

   1. Guided Audio Meditation

   2. Guided Written Meditation

3. Exercise 2: Identifying a Part

   1. Trailhead

   2. Identifying a part Example

4. Exercise 3: Getting to Know a Part

   1. Part In Real Time

   2. Getting to Know a Part Example

5. Exercise 4: Blending & Unblending

   1. Blended Exercise

   2. Blended with a Part Example

   3. Unblending Exercise

   4. Unblending with a Part Example

6. Exercise 5: Parts Mapping

7. Conclusion

“The human mind isn’t a unitary thing that sometimes has irrational feelings. It is a complex system of interacting parts, each with a mind of its own. It’s like an internal family - with wounded children, impulsive teenagers, rigid adults, hypercritical parents, caring friends, nurturing relatives, etc. If you embrace all these wounded and protective parts inside of you as “real beings” who deserve compassion, understanding, and love, you can transform your psyche and create the joyful life you have always wanted.” -Jay Early

Introduction: 5 IFS Exercises

These exercises are inspired by the workbook and exercise guide by Bonnie J. Weiss. I have included basic starting points to identify your parts, get to know them and know when you are blended and to unblend from them.

A few things to note for these exercises:

• Sensing and allowing: you are leaning into this process with an open palm while listening deeply and sensing into what emerges.

• Curiosity: approach this process with a curious mind and an approach of exploration. Imagine yourself on a journey or an adventure, exploring new landscapes and getting to know yourself in new ways for the first time.

• Orient and Grounding: as you explore different parts, it can be important to orient beforehand to the room you are in, to the present moment, noticing the felt-experience of you right now. You might take a few deep breaths and feel the sensation of the ground against your feet or your back. And then again orient afterward to place, to the room, noticing the sensations and felt-experience after each exercise.

• Naming a Part: It may be useful to have a name for the part, which could be a descriptive phrase, a person’s name, name of a character, or anything else. Make sure the part names themself. The name can change at any time in the future as your understanding of the part evolves. This is more for you to develop a relationship with the part and be able to identify them when they are present.

Exercise 1: Coming into Self

The Self is the inner core that is calm, compassionate, curious and clear. Deep within your being dwells a present, patient, reverent and peaceful place. Ideally, when we explore our parts and get to know them, we will have a sense of this inner sanctuary within us so that we might rest in this place as we navigate the inner terrain of our psyche. I start with a guided meditation and a written grounding exercise for you to orient to Self, so that you can center, ground and anchor into a place that feels like home. And when a part takes over the seat of consciousness, or is blended with you, I have an exercise for that below.

Guided Audio Meditation:

Guided Written Meditation:

1. Location: First, find an area, place, room, outdoor sit-spot, or somewhere you can tune in and listen to your inner experience. This is a place you know you won’t be interrupted or disturbed. It is a quiet place that offers you spaciousness. Once you’ve found an area, begin by sitting and resting. Make sure you have a journal, or something to take notes on after the meditation.

2. Grounding: Begin to ground, anchor and center yourself to this calm space. Perhaps, notice your feet, legs, hips, hands or any other area that feels settled and relaxed. Begin to scan the room you are in, taking in the shapes, colors, textures, sounds, aromas, temperature and the sensation of spaciousness. Now imagine and visualize roots extending downward and spreading from the base of your body, creating a stable, secure and safe foundation for you to lean on. You can use visuals like tree roots, or touching stones or an object that soothes you; you can place a blanket on you, or create a circle around you.

3. Tune In: Next, I invite you to draw your attention, focus, energy and awareness into your inner landscape. Begin to orient toward your inner experience, sensing and scanning your interior space. You can do this by closing your eyes, placing your hand on your heart, lying down, inserting earplugs or any other way to shift your gaze inward. Begin to explore the feelings, colors, shapes, images, thoughts, sensations and any other felt-experience that you notice. Just observe, try to not evaluate or make meaning, and just witness what is present.

4. Tracking: With your journal near you, and after resting in your inner space, begin to reflect on:

   1. Thoughts: the stories, beliefs, phrases that you observed

   2. Sensations: the physiological observations of your body.

   3. Feelings: the experience of a wave or experience of emotion

   4. Images: record any images that came to you and maybe even draw it out with color, shape and dimension

   5. Body parts: notice if a certain body part drew more of your attention or an area you might not have noticed at all.

   6. Perception: notice the approach or way you perceived; for example did you notice more tension that relaxation, or more pain than calm.

Exercise 2: Identifying a part

Trailhead

Inspired by Jay Earley's work in Chapter 4 of his book Self Therapy.

In this exercise, we always start with a trailhead. What is a trailhead?

The quickest way to identify and access a part through a trailhead is to recall a recent moment when you felt activated, triggered or emotionally charged. Oftentimes when you are in situations that jolt you, send a wave of current (a whoosh!), or you notice yourself shift quickly during an interaction, or at work, or with your partner, a part is most likely present. By identifying the thoughts, feelings, sensations, voices, behaviors or desires that you were experiencing during this moment, you can explore a part that might be present.

1. Choose a trigger point (this can be from the past, a recent experience or earlier today)

   1. Begin by identifying a moment or a situation when you felt activated, or super deactivated (collapsed). Take a moment, close your eyes, deepen your breath, and imagine that you are in a situation in which the part is activated. Notice how it feels to be there.

2. Now, write down the feelings, sensations, thoughts, behaviors, desires and so on that you were experiencing as you recall the situation.

3. Observe and imagine these responses you had as a part of you or many parts of you - you want to reframe your felt-experience as a character or a part: look at their feelings, thoughts, behaviors and so on.

   
   

   Notice:

   1. What do they feel emotionally?

   2. Do you have an image?

   3. What do they feel like in your body and where do you feel them?

   4. What does this part say?

   5. What thoughts do they have?

   6. How do they make you behave?

   7. What do they want?

   8. Does they have a name?

Identifying a Part Example

1. Trigger point: When I was trying to complete a task that I had never done before and had no experience with.

2. Felt-experience: I felt a sensation in my stomach turn inward and collapse. My shoulders began to curl forward, my neck lowering and a wave of overwhelm throughout my whole body.

3. A Part of me:

   1. They felt overwhelmed and like the task is impossible to complete

   2. A dark, male bodied shadow, stern and critical.

   3. I notice a turning inward and a clenching in my stomach and chest.

   4. “I can't do this.” “I am going to fail .” “I am never going to accomplish what I want.”

   5. They believe that they will never succeed.

   6. They make me want to give up; my gaze is narrow focused and I can’t see any way out.

   7. They want to feel supported, validated and a team of people to offer guidance on completing the task

   8. Defeated Part

Exercise 3: Getting to know a part

Inspired by Bonnie J. Weiss' workbook (pg. 23 - 25)

Part in real time

In this exercise, I will guide you to get to know a part that might be present with you right now.

1. Begin by noticing your felt-experience right now as the part is activated. Notice the emotions, feelings, thoughts, behaviors and the situation you are facing right now.

2. Now communicate to the part in some way that you’re interested in getting to know them, and then ask if they would be willing to create some space and distance from you. This spaciousness from the part allows you to get to know them without feeling taken over (blended). You can imagine them next to you, sense space between you, or hear an inner dialogue between you and the part.

3. Next, be curious about the part, and engage them by getting to know them through some of the following questions:

   1. How does this part feel right now?

   2. Ask them to show you an image.

   3. How do they feel in your body when they are present?

   4. What do they want to say? What are their thoughts?

   5. What do they want?

   6. Ask the part if they have a name.

4. As you get to know them, offer appreciation for anything that they reveal to you for you to identify them more.

5. Now, ask if they would be willing for you to be with them over the next week, especially when this part is activated. Notice their response. If they are willing, then begin by setting an intention to be aware of this part when they become activated. (2, pg 24) You might set an intention by stating, “may I become aware of this part when they are present and notice their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and sense spaciousness from me and this part.” At the end of each day, take a few minutes to review moments when the part was activated. This is the first step in establishing a relationship with a part by being curious to get to know them. If they are not willing, ask the part how they would like you to stay connected to continue to get to know them, and listen for a response. Here is a list of ways to get to know them throughout the week:

   1. What situations or people activated this part?

   2. How did you first notice the part? (through sensation, image, thought, etc)

   3. What does this part want?

   4. What role do they play?

   5. What behavior will cue you that they have taken over?

Getting to Know a Part Example:

1. Part: Controller: I am noticing a hyper-aroused state towards others, a preoccupation and wanting to demand and manage them. I sense a feeling of irritability in the unknown which was activated by a low income this week. I notice a feeling of force, wanting to push my agendas.

2. "Hello controller part in me, I sense your presence in me and I am curious to get to know you better. In order to do that, I need some distance from you. Would you be willing to create some spaciousness from me?" I imagine the controller part sitting across the room from me.

3. Getting to know them:

   1. What they feel right now: fearful of uncertainty and uprooted and insecure

   2. What they look like: A demanding teacher with their finger pointing at me.

   3. What they feel like in your body and where: They feels like constriction especially in my breath. I feel it in my diaphragm, all the way up to my throat

   4. How they make you behave: They want to have everything go their way in order to feel secure. They change my behavior by making me territorial, demanding and seek power and authority over life.

   5. What they want: To feel secure, trusting and safe with others and their environment

4. "Thank you controller part in me for allowing me to get to know you more and for showing me what you feel, what it’s like to be you, and what you would support you."

5. "I would like to continue to get to know you over this next week, and continue to cultivate spaciousness so that I can see you and be with you more clearly. Would you be willing to separate from me and reveal yourself so that I can recognize and identify you more and more?" (I sensed an a release in my breath that indicated an opening.) INTENTION: In this next week, may I become aware of my controlling part and notice when they are present through their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and invite spaciousness between them and me: the Self.

   1. What behavior will cue you that the part has taken over? When I become forceful about things going my way and becoming irritable and overwhelmed when they don’t.

   2. What situations or people tend to activate this part? House mates, a low income week, or a choatic environment.

   3. When are these likely to occur during the next week? When an unexpected financial situation or client cancellation occurs, or when I feel my housemates expecting something from me, or when something I need done from another is delayed.

Exercise 4: Blending & Unblending

Inspired by Bonnie J. Weiss' workbook (pg. 27 - 31)

When Self is not in the seat of consciousness, but instead one of your parts has taken over the seat of consciousness that is known as being blended. When you are in the seat of Self and you can notice a part with distance and space, then you are unblended. These exercises orient you to noticing a part that is blended with you and being with a part when they are unblended.

Blended Exercise

1. Choose a part of you that you are experiencing and is blended with you at this moment. Most likely, they will be a part that you identify with as part of your personality, which will make it difficult to see them as a part. It could be a part that criticizes you or judges others, or a part that gets angry or reactive. It could be a part that doubts you, likes to control, or worries, or needs something from someone else, or any other regular part that shows up in your life. Take a moment to close your eyes and see what is present.

2. What does it feel like in your body when that part is here?

   1. Where do you notice tension? Relaxation?

   2. What sensations are you aware of?

3. Is your visual focus open or closed?

4. What parts of your body are you unaware of? For example, are you only in your head? Only feeling your belly?

5. What is your breath like?

6. What emotions are here? (For example, anger, frustration, impatience, urgency, unease, agitation, etc.)

7. What are your thoughts?

8. What are you saying to yourself?

9. What is held as true from this part’s point of view? (For example: I have a lot of responsibilities to fulfill and I have to keep working to fulfill them, or I never get what I need from this person, or there’s never enough time. to get everything I need done.)

Blended with a Part Example:

1. Blended Part

   1. What does it feel like in your body when that part is here?

      1. Tightness and bracing of the hips, and clenched jaw. I notice heart rate increases, and breath constricts. I am most relaxed in my hands and arms.

   2. Is your visual focus open or closed?

      1. Narrow, cloudy and focused

   3. What parts of your body are you unaware of?

      1. Feet and ankles

   4. What is your breath like?

      1. Constricted, shallow and heavy

   5. What emotions are here?

      1. Anxiety, frustration and sadness

   6. What are your thoughts?

      1. I don't have enough for the things I want, I am never going to reach my financial goals. I must be doing something wrong.

   7. What are you saying to yourself?

      1. I am unworthy. I’m not capable. I am not educated enough.

   8. What is held as true from this part’s point of view?

      1. I need to make more money to fulfill my dreams.

Unblending Exercise

1. In this exercise, you start by asking the part if they would be willing to make some emotional space from you, so that you can be more present with them. You want the part to understand that you are interested in getting to know them and that the most effective way to do that is if you have space from them. You may use the part that you explored in the previous exercise, or you may want to get to know a different part. If so, go through the steps previously outlined until the part you are interested in is present. Let the part know in some way that you are interested in getting to know them, and begin to take notes on the following:

   1. Name or role of part:

   2. How do you know when you are blended?

   3. Here is a list of questions or actions that can help the unblending process.

      1. Ask the part to separate from you so you can get to know them.

      2. Ask the part to move out of your body.

      3. Ask the part to contain their feelings and not flood you while you focus on them.

      4. Move back to separate from the part.

      5. Notice how you feel toward the part.

      6. Get an image of the part at a distance from you.

      7. Do a short centering/grounding meditation to support your separateness from the part.

   4. Notice and track what invitation to unblend did create distance and separation from the part. Make note of that so that you might return to this.

   5. When a part does separate, you will notice a shift. This can be any of a number of possible subtle changes in your awareness of them:

      1. You may feel an opening in your body and a sense of space or a felt-sense of openness.

      2. You may see them move. For example, the image of the part moves farther away from you.

      3. You might get an image of them being next to you.

      4. You might hear them agree to your request.

      5. You might feel emotionally lighter or freer.

   6. Write down what you noticed when the part separated from you:

   7. What you noticed if your part agreed to unblend:

      1. What the part said:

      2. Bodily changes:

      3. Visual shifts:

      4. Emotional changes:

      5. Anything else:

Unblended from a Part Example:

1. Unblending

   1. Scarcity part

   2. I start to feel distrusting of the flow of resources, and I have negative thoughts around money, a disbelief in my capacity to reach and have faith in reaching my goals. I notice tightness in my hips and I behave with a sense of urgency.

   3. I leaned back as I imagined the part separating from me. I saw an image of a child piggy bank that appeared agitated and hungry. I asked them to rest in the far field so I could get to know them more.

   4. I immediately felt lighter, more at ease and a sense of clarity.

   5. Part separated

      1. They told me they were scared. They were fearful that I wouldn’t have enough to support my needs.

      2. I noticed myself being curious and less overwhelmed and anxious. My hips softened and I felt my stomach more at ease.

      3. I noticed more clarity in my vision

      4. I noticed understanding and wanting to care for the pig.

      5. I received a memory as a little girl and my mom crying because the IRS was trying to take away our home. Once I saw why they were so fearful, I had understanding and compassion toward their wanting to protect me from that happening again and then I could be with them with understanding and care.

Exercise 5: Parts Mapping

Inspired by Bonnie J. Weiss' workbook (pg. 43 - 44)

This exercise allows you to get a big picture view of your inner psyche. Parts mapping can...

• clarify the relationships between parts,

• allow you to explore the various sub-personalities, their names and roles,

• illuminate your protective system,

• illustrate which parts are central to the system and which are peripheral,

• show you where parts stand in terms of their relationship to the Self,

• and much more.

Your map will evolve and change over time, so you can use this map as a way to track and watch how your internal working system changes as you deepen your healing, reparent and establish trust with your various parts.

You can also use parts mapping as an ongoing tool for visually tracking your internal work and to guide you on deciding where to focus your attention. There are many ways to map your system. I will provide one that Jay Early uses in his book, Self-Therapy Workbook: An Exercise Book For the IFS Process.

1. Mapping Materials:

   1. Large sheet of paper (ideally from paper roll or paper pad easel).

   2. Markers

   3. Sticky Notes

2. Steps

   1. Start with a large sheet of paper.

   2. Draw a heart or an image you receive when you connect with SELF in the top center and write your name in it.

   3. Work with at least three colors: one color for Protectors and another color for Exiles, and another to represent unknown. You may not know if your part is a protector or exile yet. As you deepen your work, they will become more clear.

   4. Start by writing the names of parts on sticky notes as you think of them and place them randomly on the paper. You can draw images, feelings and anything else that evokes this part for you. If you have a sense that a part is a Protector and another is an Exile, use the appropriate colors. As parts become clearer, you can change colors. If you aren’t sure, go ahead and use your unknown color.

3. Once all the parts are on the paper, sit back and review. I recommend doing a centering exercise to get into Self so you can view the parts from that place. If it feels right, take a few deep breaths with your hand on your belly.

4. Now begin to move the sticky notes to reflect the relationships between the parts.

   1. Which parts are allied and work together?

   2. Which parts are polarized and fight each other?

   3. Which parts hide?

   4. Which parts protect other parts?

   5. Which ones are Concerned Parts that would block the Self from getting to know a Target Part?

5. Once you have rearranged the parts, sit back again and reflect. Have you become aware of any other parts? Add them. Now how do they look and feel? Notice any shift in your emotional state or body awareness once you have the map in front of you. Do you see a clear entry point where you want to begin your exploration? Do you see parts that need the help and resources of the Self?

Mapping is a great exploration tool as you get to know more and more of your parts. It allows for an acknowledgement, recognition and a sense of direction for healing your parts.

Conclusion

These exercises provide you with some basic tools to start working with your internal family system, and getting to know your parts. Each exercise is meant to guide you towards an inner exploration for each part. Ideally, you might return to these practices over and over as you heal your parts and transform by harmonizing the inner system of parts so that they serve the Self. If you need support and further guidance, please reach out to Michelle through her Holistic Therapy practice.

This blog is inspired by the work of Richard Schwartz and Jay Early. Please check out their workshops, trainings, books, and downloadable exercises and guides to learn more about IFS or Parts Work:

• https://ifs-institute.com/

• https://personal-growth-programs.com/

References

1. Self-Therapy Workbook: An Exercise Book for the IFS Process, Bonnie J. Weiss, 2013

2. Self-Therapy : A step-by-step guide to creating wholeness and healing your inner child using IFS, A new cutting-edge Psychotherapy, Jay Early, 2009